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Jokes, Humour and Funny Stuff

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CE Geek Page Icon Posted 2016-03-16 6:00 AM
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From a friend of mine, in honor of yesterday being Pi Day:

3.14% of sailors are pi-rates.

Never talk to pi. He’ll go on forever.

Come to the nerd side. We have pi.

Simple as 3.14592…

The roundest knight at King Arthur’s table was Sir Cumference. He ate too much pi.

The worst thing about getting hit in the face with pi is that it never ends.

What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter? Moon pi.

What was Sir Isaac Newton’s favorite dessert? Apple pi.

What is the official animal of Pi Day? The pi-thon.

A pizza has a radius z and thickness a. Its volume is pizza (or pi*z*z*a)

What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert? Pi!

The mathematician says, “Pi r squared.” The baker replies, “No, pies are round. Cakes are square.”

Just saw American Pi. I gave it a rating of 3.14.

In Alaska, where temperatures get below freezing, pi is only 3.00. After all, everything shrinks in the cold.

What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter? Pi in the sky.

How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie? 3.14.

What do you get when you cut a jack-o’-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.

(ducks to avoid getting hit by tomatoes )
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stingraze Page Icon Posted 2016-03-16 8:57 AM
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I love pi jokes. :-)

My personal favorite of the ones you mentioned is: "Never talk to pi. He’ll go on forever."

I read online that there is a joke "My PIN is the last four digits of pi".
It's interesting this "number" you learn in elementary school has all the numbers in the universe, or supposed to.
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CE Geek Page Icon Posted 2016-04-06 7:55 AM
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Wife tells husband, "Honey, go to the store and get a carton of milk, and if they have avocados, buy six."

Husband comes back 30 minutes later with six cartons of milk. Wife asks, "Why did you get six cartons of milk?"

Husband looks bewildered, answers, "They had avocados."

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C:Amie Page Icon Posted 2016-10-15 6:59 PM
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I always knew that Windows was becoming bloatware... but Windows 10 has officially overtaken the competition.

I'm very relieved that be able to recover this much disk space from my 256GB SSD.



(bloat.png)



Attachments
----------------
Attachments bloat.png (19KB - 0 downloads)
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Rich Hawley Page Icon Posted 2016-10-15 7:16 PM
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LOL...common problem with Microsoft update KB3194798...
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C:Amie Page Icon Posted 2016-10-15 7:28 PM
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stingraze Page Icon Posted 2016-10-16 1:18 AM
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LOL!
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CE Geek Page Icon Posted 2016-12-04 5:49 AM
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I've put together a band called "999 Megabytes." So far, though, I haven't gotten a gig.
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CE Geek Page Icon Posted 2017-02-16 4:48 AM
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Me: Knock, knock.
You: Who's there?
Me: Nobel.
You: Nobel who?
Me: Nobel - that's why I knocked.
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CE Geek Page Icon Posted 2017-03-08 6:51 AM
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Crazy thing just happened. Stopped for gas and to buy a water. When I pulled in, I noticed these two cops watching a woman who was smoking while fueling up.

I was thinking, "Wow, what an idiot! The police are standing right there!" I went inside and got my water.

As I was paying, I heard someone scream, "Look outside!" The woman's arm was on fire!!! She was running around like a chicken with its head cut off, waving her arm around and just going nuts. We all went outside and watched the cops put her on the ground and put the fire out with an extinguisher.

After all the craziness, I started walking to my car and I saw the cops put her in handcuffs. The guy next to me yelled, "What the heck?" I, of course, stuck around because it looked like the guy was a jerk, and I wanted to see what would happen next. He asked the cops, "What in the world are you arresting her for? After all, wasn't catching her arm on fire punishment enough?"

I kid you not. The cop looked him dead in the eye and said, "For waving a firearm."

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stingraze Page Icon Posted 2017-03-08 8:54 AM
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haha! nice one! took me about 2 seconds to get it

Edited by stingraze 2017-03-08 8:54 AM
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Alt Bass Page Icon Posted 2017-03-08 10:00 AM
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Really though, is starting a fire on the gas station a punishable offence in your area?
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C:Amie Page Icon Posted 2017-03-08 4:04 PM
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Actually it probably is. By ignoring clearly positioned and well known health and safety materials you are endangering the lives of other members of the public and staff who work at the facility. It could be a criminal matter under H&S negligence regulations. It would certainly be if the staff failed to stop the person from smoking. It is definitely a civil prosecutable matter.
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C:Amie Page Icon Posted 2017-03-08 4:26 PM
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High School Reunion

Husband takes the wife to her high school reunion.

After meeting several of her friends and former school mates, they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and overly bored. The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance.

There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon walking, back flips, buying drinks for people, the works.

Wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.

Husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!!!"
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CE Geek Page Icon Posted 2017-03-09 6:24 AM
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Speaking of penalties:

You know what the penalty for bigamy is in California? Two mothers-in-law!
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