Jokes, Humour and Funny Stuff

Awe, but it was funny because of the "Number 2" joke

Dems da rules. I don't make them... oh wait, yet I do

Well, on the brighter side of things I am slowly losing the fight against my crippling depression symptoms.

I couldn’t be happier.

Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they're shellfish.

How much does a pirate pay for an ear of corn?

A buccaneer!

What's red and smells like white paint?

Red paint.

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave."

The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"

What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

a good one!

Ant's never get sick because they have little anty-bodies.

Throughout my life, there's one things I've learned that's always true. You NEVER trust stairs. They're always up to something. On the brighter side of things though, my friends addicted to brake fluid. But he can stop anytime he wants.

My moms such a joker. She couldn't even stop kidding when she gave birth to me. Literally.

On the other hand, they're always down for anything.

Actually, according to chemistry, alcohol is a solvent.