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Jokes, Humour and Funny Stuff

Moderators: insurgent, C:Amie

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C:Amie Page Icon Posted 2020-04-20 10:19 AM
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Jake - 2020-04-19 11:08 PM

No, no, no. We have to stick together here, both in times like this and times not like this.

Jake
Are you arguing with me Jake? I've got an itchy banning finger and I'm not afraid to use it



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CE Geek - 2020-04-20 1:56 AM

Make sure you're wearing a mask when you tell that joke in public, HPC:Fan.

C:Amie, what does the doc say if (s)he's the coroner?


I feel like this is a setup for a punch line so...

I don't know, what does the doc say if (s)he's the coroner?
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CE Geek Page Icon Posted 2020-04-20 2:17 PM
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I'm asking you, cuz the engine isn't running in that case.
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C:Amie Page Icon Posted 2020-04-20 4:26 PM
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Then I guess they're on-par with the mechanic
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HPC:Fan Page Icon Posted 2020-04-20 5:30 PM
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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?

Wave to her.

A guy walked into a hair stylist, was seated and a pretty blonde was cutting his hair. He noticed she was chewing gum, kinda rude but whatever. But he was upset she was listening to her iPod and not listening to his directions to as how he wanted his hair cut. No matter what he did, she wouldn't take them off. So finally, in a fit of anger, he ripped the earpods from her ears and all of a sudden she started gasping for air and then, died.

He listened to the iPod and it was playing, "Breathe in, breathe out" over and over again. Guess blondes really can't do two things at a time.

Edited by HPC:Fan 2020-04-20 5:31 PM
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C:Amie Page Icon Posted 2020-04-20 7:06 PM
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Wait. Didn't I ban you?

Keep them coming
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HPC:Fan Page Icon Posted 2020-04-20 7:37 PM
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You did, this is HPC:Factors ghost haunting the forum continuing the lame jokes.

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot!


Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one!
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C:Amie Page Icon Posted 2020-04-20 8:06 PM
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*Groan*

Dad jokes.
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CE Geek Page Icon Posted 2020-04-21 3:20 AM
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HPC:Fan - 2020-04-20 9:30 AM

He listened to the iPod and it was playing, "Breathe in, breathe out" over and over again. Guess blondes really can't do two things at a time.


So, and I'll probably be banned for this, he literally trimmed her Bush.
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stingraze Page Icon Posted 2020-04-21 9:33 AM
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HPC:Fan - 2020-04-21 4:37 AM
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot!

I like that one.
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C:Amie Page Icon Posted 2020-04-21 2:07 PM
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CE Geek - 2020-04-21 3:20 AM

Quote
HPC:Fan - 2020-04-20 9:30 AM

He listened to the iPod and it was playing, "Breathe in, breathe out" over and over again. Guess blondes really can't do two things at a time.


So, and I'll probably be banned for this, he literally trimmed her Bush.
I'll let you ban yourself. I'm far too lazy.
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CE Geek Page Icon Posted 2020-04-21 2:47 PM
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LOL (which also stands for "lots of luck" )
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C:Amie Page Icon Posted 2020-04-22 9:53 AM
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No, it's Lots of Love
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HPC:Fan Page Icon Posted 2020-04-22 10:42 AM
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You're so romantic, C:Amie. Strange this isn't a website dedicated to finding love.

(No, the Journada doesn't count.)
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HPC:Fan Page Icon Posted 2020-04-23 12:52 PM
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A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "So why the long face?".



Edited by HPC:Fan 2020-04-23 12:53 PM
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C:Amie Page Icon Posted 2020-04-23 2:12 PM
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I couldn't find a single shoe shop in town today...

They all seemed to sell them in pairs


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