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H/PC Sensei Posts: | 884 |
Location: | Europe/USA | Status: | |
| Al's not amused.
Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex? Because they were watch dogs
 Edited by HPC:Fan 2020-04-23 2:53 PM
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Administrator H/PC Oracle Posts: | 17,987 |
Location: | United Kingdom | Status: | |
| Guess what time the man went to the dentist?
Tooth hurt-y |
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Moderator H/PC Vanguard Posts: | 2,829 |
Location: | Choking on the stench of ambition in Washington DC | Status: | |
| Two blondes meet on opposite sides of a river. First blonde says, "How do I get to the other side?" Second blonde answers, "You ARE on the other side." |
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Administrator H/PC Oracle Posts: | 17,987 |
Location: | United Kingdom | Status: | |
| What did the bra say to the hat?
You go on a head, I gotta give these two a lift. |
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H/PC Sensei Posts: | 1,169 |
Location: | Russia | Status: | |
| I'll ask these gentlemen to contribute since I know no dad jokes.
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Administrator H/PC Oracle Posts: | 17,987 |
Location: | United Kingdom | Status: | |
| I have a fear of speed bumps.
I'm slowly getting over it.
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Global Moderator H/PC Oracle Posts: | 12,669 |
Location: | Southern California | Status: | |
| A doctor told a blonde that, due to the current pandemic, she should wash her hands through two complete sings of "Happy Birthday to You." Incredulous, she exclaimed, "You mean I gotta keep washing for two full years?"
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Administrator H/PC Oracle Posts: | 17,987 |
Location: | United Kingdom | Status: | |
| Dad: I don't trust those trees, son.
Son: What? Why not?
Dad: They seem kind of shady. |
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Global Moderator H/PC Oracle Posts: | 12,669 |
Location: | Southern California | Status: | |
| Speaking of trees:
A high school chum of mine came into town from the East Coast. Even though I've lived in this house for a long time, he had never seen it, so I gave him a tour.
After the walk-through of both upstairs and downstairs, I showed him the big back yard.
"See that tree over there? My grandfather planted it."
Surprised, he replied, "Really? It's pretty small."
"Well, he only planted it last week."
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Administrator H/PC Oracle Posts: | 17,987 |
Location: | United Kingdom | Status: | |
| Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Global Moderator H/PC Oracle Posts: | 12,669 |
Location: | Southern California | Status: | |
| Speaking of fields:
I don't know why people are so interested in the Jolly Green Giant. I mean, all day long he just stands out there in the middle of the corn and peas . . .
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Administrator H/PC Oracle Posts: | 17,987 |
Location: | United Kingdom | Status: | |
| Yesterday, I ate a clock. It was very time consuming.
Especially when I went back for seconds. |
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Global Moderator H/PC Guru Posts: | 7,188 |
Location: | USA | Status: | |
| What! What is this? Elementary kiddie school joke time? Ya'll killin me…
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problem out with a pencil.
It was a number 2 pencil. |
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H/PC Sensei Posts: | 884 |
Location: | Europe/USA | Status: | |
| Quote Rich Hawley - 2020-04-24 8:17 PM
It was a number 2 pencil.
Edit by C:Amie: No swearing please- https://www.hpcfactor.com/qlink/?linkID=2 |
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Administrator H/PC Oracle Posts: | 17,987 |
Location: | United Kingdom | Status: | |
| Quote Rich Hawley - 2020-04-25 1:17 AM
What! What is this? Elementary kiddie school joke time? Ya'll killin me…
No, it's who can post the worst dad joke!
To the person that stole my Microsoft Office, I will find you.
You have my Word.
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